...And I'm a Mormon

This past weekend I had the opportunity to go to a baptism for the first time since my own. What an amazing experience! Seeing an 8 year-old make that covenant with our Heavenly Father was just amazing! It brought back so many memories of my own baptism and my growth the past 8 months. I wouldn't change it for the world and I am so grateful for all of those that have helped me along the way. (Honestly don't know where I'd be without them.)
My family: Even though they may not understand just yet, they have supported every decision I've made so far and continue to support me unconditionally. Today in Sunday school, I was asked what I thought the definition of love is. My response: unconditional acceptance. That what Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ gave us, and that's what my family has given me the past few months (and my whole life!)

My best friends: honestly, without these two girls I would be lost! They're the ones I turn to when I have questions about the Gospel, school, boys, or even how to do my hair! They have been so patient and understanding the past few months that I don't even know how they do it. I drive myself crazy sometimes so I can only imagine how they feel haha! :)

My missionaries: the ones who gave me the lessons and all my boys from back home who are now out in the field. I love them all so much and am so grateful for everything they've done for me. One of the missionaries that taught me is now home and has become my best friend. Whenever I'm having a hard day or need a pep talk or a spiritual moment, he's the one I turn to. I'm soooo grateful for missionary work and I can only hope that one day I'll have the impact on someone that they've had on me. They have changed my life in the best possible way and there's no way to repay that.

Recently I've been asked "Why? Why this Church? Why now?" The only good answer I've been able to come up with is that it was my time to find peace and happiness. It was my turn to understand the love our Heavenly Father has for us. It was my time to understand that families can be together forever and I will get to see my brother again. My family doesn't really understand what I've gone through or learned, but I hope one day they will. I know without doubt that this is the true Church on Earth, that through our struggles we become closer to our Heavenly Father, that the Book of Mormon is another true testament of Christ, and that President Monson is a true prophet called of God.

I know that this will be a long journey. I know that at times it may be hard. I know that some days I may just want to give up and go back to my old ways, but I know if I stay strong, I will be eternally blessed.

I am a daughter, sister, and best friend. I love playing volleyball and softball. I am a small town girl from Montana on my own in this big world. I know that my savior lives, I am a proud convert, AND I AM A MORMON!!!!

Lessons Learned

Since I've been in college I've learned a lot. Not just stuff that is important, but things about myself, my life, my beliefs and the people I love the most. I've learned that staying up till 4 in the morning and then trying to go to class at 8 doesn't work very well. And that sometimes even a smile and a cheerful attitude can't hide the scars and emotional bruises. There's so many things I've learned. And this post is some of those things and how I've dealt with the challenges...

The first thing I learned after I moved to school: family, no matter how close or far, is one of the most important things in our lives. Family is everything to me. My family is eleven hours away, but I talk to my mom (who is my rock) on the phone almost every day, even if it's just for a few minutes. I know that my family loves and supports me unconditionally. Even if they don't understand my conversion, I'm still the woman they've grown up with and loved their whole lives. I think one of the hardest things about being away from home is that I feel like I'm missing out on things. My sister is a senior in high school this year and I'm kind of bummed I'm not there for the senior pictures, the football games, dances, late night talks and just chilling on a Saturday afternoon. Being able to talk to them and Skype has been an amazing blessing and I cannot wait to see them soon!

The second thing I learned: a hug can turn your whole day around. Not just a quick hug, but a hug where you just stand there and soak it in. One of those hugs where you never want to let go and the whole world seems to stop for those few moments. Those have been some of the most treasured moments I've had since coming to school. And I'm so lucky to have the support system and the friends that I do that can give me those hugs when I need them. I know how lucky I am to have the people in my life that I do. I have met some of the most amazing people in the few short months I've been here, and I wouldn't trade them for the world (even if I still don't understand guys and their stupid emotions!)

The  third thing I learned: say 'I love you', say it a lot and really mean it when you say it. Not just to your friends and family, but those people who've taken the time to break down the walls you've built up and actually care about you. Those are the people who are going to be there for you no matter what and who want the best for you. Even if they can't be there for you. There are people in your life that enter at a specific time for a specific reason and only Heavenly Father knows why. Which is hard for me sometimes because I'm a planner and I always want to know exactly what's going on and I don't do well with not knowing what's going on.

The fourth thing I've learned: your friends are family. You just get to pick them. My two best friends are seriously sometimes the only things that keep me sane and going during the hard weeks. I don't know what I'd do without them. They're my therapist, my cheering section, my conscience, and my partners in crime. We seriously spend so much time together and they're who I go to when I'm having a hard day or I'm mad at a guy or my emotions are on a roller coaster. They keep me centered and I'm pretty sure I'd go crazy without them. Add in the guys we hang out with all the time, and I've got the best group of friends ever! I've never laughed harder, had more memories made or spent more time with any group of people. It's amazing!

The fifth thing I've learned: Heavenly Father has a plan. Even if we don't know what it is, there's a plan in place. Sometimes the path may be hard and there may be a lot of twists and turns, Heavenly Father will always be guiding us. I know that if I strive to live temple worthy and marry in the temple, that Heavenly Father will always be with me. That's a fact. Sometimes the temptation is there (especially being a convert), but I know that if I stay true, I'll be okay and I'll come out stronger. Reading my scriptures and going to church makes things easier and I know that the support system will always be there. In D&C 25:12 it says:

For my soul delighteth in the song of the heart; yea, the song of the righteous is a prayer unto me, and it shall be answered with a blessing upon their heads. 

This is one of my favorite scriptures. It keeps me going on those hard days and I know that through prayer we can get the answers we need and those are the answers and promptings we need to trust. That's one of the biggest blessings I've been able to receive since being baptized.

I can only hope that as I continue on this journey that I remember these lessons and learn more. These lessons have taught me so much and I've only been at school for a few months. I'm sure I'll learn more as I go, and I promise to keep you guys updated. Who knows what the next adventure will be or what I'll learn?

Finally...FALL BREAK!!!

It's been an absolutely CRAZY couple of weeks! I've been so busy, this is the 1st time I've had to sit down and write a post. So much has happened and I've learned so much about myself. I'm so grateful for the challenges that were presented and for the opportunity to face them head on. Yes, they sucked, but I'm stronger than I was going in.

This past weekend was fall break for us fabulous SUU students! The girls and I decided that we should road trip up north to get in some shopping, family time, and lots of adventures. Needless to say, it was a fun filled weekend. When we finally got up to Spanish Fork Friday we were starving, and sick of being in the car. Fee-La's family took us out to dinner and then we walked around the mall. With Fee-La's brother. Who is an RM. And still very much awkward! I love him to death, but who would have thought that getting him to give his number to a girl who very obviously wanted it would be so hard! It was like pulling teeth. BUT he finally did, and when he was texting the rest of the weekend, he would smile and dodge our comments as to who it was. We can only hope it was the super pretty girl :) (and we're pretty sure it was!) It was fun trying to acclimate him to the real world, and this was only the first day of vacation!

Saturday started the perfect way: baptisms at the Provo temple! Such a fabulous way to start my day and with some of the best people EVER! I went with Fee-La, her brother, and one of my really good friends from home who just got back from his mission in July (he's not nearly as awkward as Fee-La's brother tho!)

That was by far the best way to start the day, but it only got better from there :) Us girls spent the rest of the day shopping and having a ridiculous amount of fun, just what I needed!! We spent hours shopping, trying on clothes we would never buy, and making fun of each other constantly. And doing a little dreaming like all girls do when they're near a jewelry or dress store. I'm not even sure how long we spent shopping, but it was totally worth it. I spent WAY too much money, but it was a great day with my girls, and that's priceless! Saturday night was about as close to perfection as I could have gotten, and it was one of those nights where nothing went according to plan! Earlier in the week, a guy I knew from home texted me asking if I'd like to go on a date with him. Super random, but I didn't get to see him at home before I left for school (he had just gotten home from his mission when I was leaving) so of course I said yes. We knew each other before, and I am really good friends with his little sister, so I was a little worried that it would be weird. It wasn't. At all. It was one of the funnest dates I've ever been on. It was super simple, but it was the company, laughter and conversation that made the night. And the fact I was at BYU never even crossed my mind. He made me dinner (major points, even though it was just tacos), and then took me on my first unofficial, official 1st tour of the campus. Really we just talked about our families, his mission, and caught up on  the past 2 years. And laughed. The. Whole. Time. It was amazing to laugh that much and be able to catch up with him :) It was a great date. So glad I went!

Sunday was a day of firsts for me. I went to a Poly ward, where I only understood maybe half of what was said, but it was AWESOME!!! I love the moments where even though you don't understand, you can feel the spirit and those are the moments that testify to the truthfulness of this Church. I love this Gospel soooo much and I know Ulli (whose farewell it was) will be an amazing missionary. After church we went to his farewell dinner. If you're ever hungry, go to a Poly's house. They will feed you till you're full and then give you seconds and a plate to take home with you. It's great! I'm not even sure of half of what I ate, but it was all so good that it didn't even matter! It was a culture explosion, but in the words of us girls, I ain't even mad!

Monday was hard. It was the 4 year anniversary of my brother's death. The girls did the best they could keeping me busy and my mind off of it, but there's only so much you can do. We got our haircut early in the day and then made our way up to Salt Lake to do some more shopping and so we could get up this morning and go to the zoo. It was still semi-early when we finished shopping so of course I wanted to walk through Temple Square.

 It was one of the best things I could have done to get through the end of the day when my mind was starting to slow down. Just being semi-close to the Temple gave me peace and I felt my brother there walking around with me. I know he's always with me, but maybe I just don't notice it as much as I should. Knowing that one day I'll have the opportunity for my husband and I to do temple work for him so we can be together for eternity is such an amazing blessing! I'm so grateful for that and for the family and friends I have now that help me through those days and remind me that everything is going to be okay. It makes me so happy and I can't wait for that day that we get to do temple work for him.

And today...we went to the zoo!!! BEST  $10 I'VE EVER SPENT!!!!!!!!!!! We were the college kids who were running around like 5 year olds and we enjoyed every single minute of it! We had so much fun and it was an amazing 3 hours. The girls day was just what I needed, and after we went to the This Is The Place monument. It was so amazing to see where Brigham Young knew that the Salt Lake valley would be where the pioneers were going to settle. And the view from up there is beautiful. Even though it was foggy and rainy, it was still gorgeous. 

Wow. It's been a a crazy week. I just realized reading this that I'm running on almost no sleep and lots of sugar! That's going to be interesting later haha!!

What a weekend!!!

I know I say this almost every post...but what an absolutely amazing weekend!!! I'm SO blessed to be a member of the true church on the Earth, and for the opportunities we have to hear from our living prophets and to know that what they tell us is said in order for us to return to our Heavenly Father and live for eternity.

This weekend was one of firsts for me. I got to go to the temple for the first time to do baptisms with my best friend. Never would I have thought that anything could compare to the day I came out of the font and became a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Temples are such an important part of our faith and everything that we do on the earth prepares us to live eternally with our families. I'm so grateful for that knowledge, and for the opportunity we have to go do baptisms for those who were not able to do them while they were on the earth. The reverence that  is present as soon as you walk in to the temple is so amazing. I've been waiting for months (since March 17th) to go in to the temple and do baptisms. The older woman who was in charge of giving us our jumpsuits, was one of the sweetest women I've ever met, and even in the short time we interacted, I could feel her spirit and her pure joy at being able to do work in the temple. She was so happy to know that I had given up part of my Friday afternoon to help those on the other side of the veil. And the look on her face when I told her this was my first time in the temple was priceless! If I thought she was full of joy before, that paled in comparison to the look on her face when I told her I was a convert and this was my first time in the temple. I was so grateful for the opportunity to help those who were not able to help themselves and I feel so lucky to live 45 minutes away from a temple where you don't have to make an appointment to do baptisms and just for the opportunity to go. Little did I know what was going to happen to me the next morning...

This weekend is also General Conference. All the talks that have been given this weekend have touched on a topic I was thinking about, and I'm so grateful for those that have spoken this weekend and what has been said. The most exciting part, however, was hearing the living prophet speak. And I'm not just talking about in general, even though that is amazing! I am talking about the announcement that was made Saturday morning in the first session of this conference. The living prophet has decided that worthy young men are going to be able to serve missions starting at 18. He has also decided that worthy young women will be able to go starting at age 19, instead of 21. So, you my readers are going to be the first to know, I will be serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I hope to be entering the MTC next summer, after my sister has graduated and has started her summer. I have known that I wanted to serve a mission since I got baptized and this is just confirmation that I am supposed to go now instead of waiting 1 1/2 more years to submit my papers. Kylene, Fee-La and I had a major happy cry session yesterday morning as soon as we were told the news and I told them I had plans to serve. They are the best support system I could have ever asked for, and I can only hope my family will accept my decision and know that I am doing this so others may have the experience I have had the past few months. I want people to understand the pure joy and happiness that I have found. I love this church so much and the people who are a part of it.
I know that this church is true and that President Monson is our living prophet. I'm grateful for everything that has been given to me the past few months and for the opportunity to serve people the way the Lord wants me to.

Trials, laughs, and best friends forever!!!

This week has been an interesting one to say the least. I've learned a lot, and I only hope that I am really as strong coming out as I feel. This is my first kind of serious post, and it feels a little weird not sharing a whole bunch of funny stories, but apparently Heavenly Father had a different idea of how this week should go...

I learned the hard way this week that things don't always work out the way we want them too. Nothing serious, but sometimes you get your hopes up just to have them crushed. I have been kind of seeing this guy since I came to school, and things were never really serious, but this week was a 180 from what had been happening since orientation. It was really weird and it kinda sucks getting that close to someone and then being straight up ignored. However, things fall apart so better things can fall together right? That was kind of my motto Friday night. This weekend was homecoming weekend so there was something going on every night and Friday night was the concert. And I would like to let everyone know that I have the BEST wing-woman ever! Fee-La (she requested a code name) knew that I was having a hard week and was determined to find a guy for me to hang out with. Enter Agent Daveed (his code name because we're saving him). Fee-La saw me looking at him and decided that that was the guy she was going to get for me. And she did. I spent the rest of the night hanging out with him and totally forgot about how the rest of my week had been. It was great. He's a great guy, an RM and there's potential for something, I'm not sure what, but I'm excited for the adventure and to see what happens! I have the best friends that I could have ever been given. They know exactly how to turn my nights around and I would be lost without them!

I also remembered how important family is. They are always there for you, even if you live 11 hours away from home and the closest you can be is talking on the phone or skyping when everyone is free (which in my family is very rare!) Living away from my family is hard, but I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for me and that I am supposed to be in UT and I'm doing everything that He wants me to. There are a lot of things that I don't understand (boys, calculus, how to properly curl my hair), but the only thing that really matters is that I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for me, that the Book of Mormon is another true testament of Christ, and that we can live together with our families for eternity. Being a convert is hard, and my family might not believe what I do, but I know that I'll get the chance to be with them for eternity. I'm going to sign off with a scripture about hope, family, and life eternal:

"And what is it that ye shall hope for? Behold I say unto you that ye shall have hope through the atonement of Christ and the power of his resurrection, to be raised unto life eternal, and this because of your faith in him according to the promise." Moroni 7:41

Football, more football, and cheering on cheerleaders

So this weekend was one for the books: 6 hours of sleep for the whole weekend, 6 friends, 2 football games, 3 meals, countless shenanigans, a cancelled 7:30 A.M. hike and so much laughter that I better have a 6 pack soon! The whole weekend was crazy fun and it makes me so glad to be where I am in life and to have the friends I do.

So it all started Friday night when Kylene, Lauren and I were trying to figure out what we wanted to do that night. No one had any ideas so we started with frozen yogurt. Having girl time is always a great way to end the week, and this was no exception! Well fast forward a couple of hours and we're hanging out with the guy I'm "hanging out" with and a couple of his roommates. (They're all cheerleaders too). Starting out with the guys getting food, and then us ending up at the football stadium running around and dancing. We all ended up at the guys' house and watched a movie. Before we left they told us we had to cheer on the cheerleaders at the football game Saturday. Never in my life would I have thought that a guy would tell me that before I left his house, o well! It's college, right?

Lauren decided to stay the night at Kylene and I's house since we were all going to get up the next morning and hike Kanaraville Falls. We were going to go early so we could hike in, have lunch, go swimming and then get back in time to shower and get ready for the game. Simple enough. Except for when you don't get home till 3 and you're supposed to be meeting everyone at 7:30. I'm from MT though, so I was just excited to go hiking! Well Lauren and I wake up the next morning and Kylene is refusing to get out of bed. We decided that we wanted to go anyway so she could just sleep and then we'd see her when we got back. So Lauren and I head out on our adventure. We get to where we were supposed to be meeting everyone, and no one is there. Lauren calls the kid who was putting it all together and he informs us that no one texted him so he didn't think anyone wanted to go and that's why no one was there. Lauren and I just looked at each other, started laughing and then decided since we were up we might as well go get some breakfast. After breakfast we crashed at my house and finally woke up at 1:30 and decided we should probably start getting ready. By far one of the best mornings I've had since I've been in Cedar, and definitely one I won't forget soon!

Fast forward a few hours and we're at the game. Needless to say, I was pretty excited because this would be my first college football game as a college student. I yelled so loud that I'm amazed I have a voice today and I'm sure I'm going to be feeling it later. Anyways, we got awesome seats on the 45 yard line, 4 rows up from the track. Awesome seats, awesome friends, and an awesome game! (We won 45-23 too!) We fulfilled our duties as cheerleaders for the cheerleaders and had an amazing time! After the game everyone was hungry so being college students, we find the closest place that is playing the BYU-Utah game. Chilis it is then. Never have I seen more expressions on the faces of 3 guys while eating. Even though us girls couldn't see the game, we knew exactly what was happening just from their expressions! I wish I would have had a camera to capture those moments. Priceless!

Such an amazing weekend! This post doesn't even capture half of what happened, but trust me, it was a weekend to be remembered by all! I came out of this weekend with a couple more friends than I started with, sore abs and exhausted beyond reason...overall a very successful weekend :)

Me and Ky

Me and Nick post-game

Besties for life :)

Me and Lauren :)

Ky, me, and Lauren

Me and my favorite cheerleader :D

The completely true story of ME!!!

Wow! Well I can now officially say that I've started this adventure! This is a new experience for me, so please forgive me if I'm illiterate at times, or mess things up until I get the hang of this! I know that at times, this might be really confusing, but I'm using this as an extension of my handwritten journal, in the hopes that someday someone will be inspired, and maybe, just maybe, find the peace I have found these past few months.

Well first off, a little about me! I was born and raised in MT (yes, I'm kind of a hick). I have an absolutely wonderful family that I adore and wouldn't trade for anything in the world. I have two loving parents and a little sister who is a huge pain in the butt, but who I wouldn't give up for a million dollars. I love to do anything outdoors. On the weekends in the fall you'll usually find me out hunting with my dad or baking with my mom (that's a huge thing back home)! I'm currently going to school in Utah to pursue a history major and get my teaching license. I have the best friend a girl could ever want and I am so blessed to have her in my life. I also have an unofficial second family with my best friend. Her parents call me their adopted daughter, and love me with a love only parents can give a child.

So I know you're probably thinking, "Wait, I thought this girl said she was Mormon." Hold your horses people, I'm getting there!!! To know my whole story, you  have to realize it hasn't always been a happy, easy journey to get to where I am today. In fact, there's been more bumps and twists in the road than I could have ever imagined possible to be in one person's life. I'm currently a sophomore in college, but when I was a sophomore in high school, my life changed very dramatically overnight. On October 23rd, I lost my big brother. He was working on a fishing boat in Alaska, and while they were coming in from the last trip out of the season, they got caught in a storm. The boat was full of fish, so it was way heavier than usual, and the hole in the hull hadn't been sealed as well as the crew had thought. It was the middle of the night when the Coast Guard lost contact with the ship and it was on midnight the next day that they called off the search. My brother and one other crew member were never found. You never realize how short life is until someone you love that much is ripped from your life with no warning. Fast forward 2 years...I'm going to school in MT and  trying to convince myself that I love life and I love school (when I really hated it with a passion and hadn't been happy for awhile) and my best friend comes home for Thanksgiving. Just what I needed, some girl time and a good venting session with the bestie. Now, my best friend, Kylene, had been raised LDS and was a wonderful example without ever meaning to be. I hadn't been raised in any religion and had pretty much given up on the whole believing in a higher power when my brother died. My best friend always had this  happiness about her, and even when times were tough, she was calm and took everything in stride. Needless to say, I was always confused and perplexed when she was like, "Everything is going to be okay. I know it is. Trust me." Well when she came home, I asked if I could go to church with her one Sunday. Never have I seen anyone's face go through so many emotions in such a short amount of time (if I remember correctly, her jaw literally dropped at one point). Well things didn't work out while she was home, but I called her not even two weeks later and asked if when she was home for Christmas if I could go to church with her. She screamed a bit on the other end of the line and then said of course I could. Christmas day was the first day I went to church, and from that moment, I knew that I would be baptized. I AM A CONVERT!!!!! I wear that title proudly and am eternally grateful for the principles I have learned the past 9 months and the knowledge I continue to gain daily through scripture study and going to church. I had two of the most AMAZING missionaries that a girl could have ever asked for! Elder Nuttall is from California and Elder Price is from a tiny town in Alaska. I think I made their jobs a little easier by asking to take the lessons and being very open to learning. I took the lessons for 3 months and was baptized on St. Patrick's day of 2012. It has been almost 6 months exactly since I made that covenant, and every day is such an adventure. I've dealt with hate, disbelief, questioning, confusion, the purest love I've ever seen, and acceptance in its most wonderful form.

This blog is going to be my adventures as a college student on my own for the first time, what I learn from the Church, and everything else that decides to happen to me the next few years! I encourage anyone who stumbles upon this and is questioning what they know to search for those answers. Your Heavenly Father has an absolutely wonderful plan for you and He will not let you fail. If your curious about my faith, or my church, I encourage you to go to www.lds.org or www.mormon.org. Your questions can be answered, you can read the words of living prophets, and even find churches or missionaries in your area.

And now...for some pictures!!!!!!

My best friend's dad who baptized me!

My best friend, me, and my parents

Just before the baptism

Me and the bestie!!!!

Me and my sister <3

Elder Nuttal, Me and Elder Price

me and the bestie again!

me and my best friend's little brother

me with my best friend's little sister and mom

My sister, mom, me and my dad just before the service